Stay Focussed

Every now and again I connect to my deceased nan via an angel board (a fancy name for a Ouija board).  As soon as I finished typing that sentence, I could almost hear a portion of this blog readership take a quiet inward gasp at the very mention of a Ouija board.  It gets such a bad rep!  I remember my dad telling me a story of his brother sitting on the board as a kid and then a phantom hand grabbing around his neck and pulling him backward off his seat…..”You must never dabble with the devil Tanya!” was the forewarning, little did he know that I had a direct line to the afterlife anyways so really that advice was futile.

And Devil? Please.

So the board is used like any other deviation tool, tarot cards, pendulum, my hands……of course, you do have to take care, i.e. always have a trained medium present and ensure you test out which spirit has come forth (we do have Randoms on an occasion, however nothing too sinister I can assure you).  In all my years of being an active medium I have never encountered the dark side of the afterlife (I’m not saying that it doesn’t exist, but I only attract those on my vibration, which is pretty broad however it is nowhere close to the depths of some really dark stuff, so we are safe).  The only time that I had some scary encounters was in my childhood home but that was probably due to all the frightened and confused energy I was emanating during my teen years, I guess they had to get my attention somehow.

So, the point of this blog post is to tell you about the message from nan.  She gives some good predictions via the board; she predicted my sister’s forthcoming wedding and the month it would fall in before my sister even talked about booking a wedding.  She told me my cousins were in the USA when I had absolutely no idea of this fact until I checked after.  She always tells me about my mediumship and spiritual journey and the business that I have and that I “must stay focused”.

I know what she is saying here.  I have many dreams, well, I have one dream which is the glue for all the others to follow and I guess it’s like a Blue Print that I have been working toward since I was awakened and realized at the age of about nineteen that we are all here for the purpose of lessons, learning, and to create.  I have known what I will be doing and so far so good, but the process is long.  I use a mix of divine guidance, my own ideas, and thoughts, an image of how things will look like once I have achieved my dream to help focus me to bring it in.

Life gets in the way constantly.  Health, commitments and responsibilities, outside influences and environmental factors…….but these are things we have to accept as part of the human condition and they must only be stopgaps along our journey until we get back into the car on our road trip.

I believe we all have a dream, it doesn’t’ have to be big in any sense of the word, it doesn’t have to be too personal, it can be to help someone else reach their dream. It could be to achieve a life free from drama and to establish an equilibrium that currently seems too distant to even contemplate.  But we all have one.

The point of today’s post is to say to anyone that is striving for something that they feel right now may be out of their reach is to “stay focused”.  It is not out of your reach.  Everything that currently sits in your environment right now is a product of your imagination, ambition, and goals.  Even if you don’t agree with that statement, you need to rethink it.  If you feel your situation is out of your control, yes, some external factors would have been, but your attitude, how you chose to respond, that is where it is at and that is where we start to change it.

The impossible is only impossible if you say so.  The Universe will support you, it is true.  I do this constantly, I have the idea, I ask the Universe to support me and it jolly well does. It gives me the opportunities and I then take those, that lead me a little further along the stepping stones that are leading me to my goal, to my dream. How will you know when you have got there?  I do ponder this very question at times.  I say that I will know when I have a certain feeling, a feeling yet experienced, a feeling so new yet so familiar and so knowing that I will know, and so will you. Just stay focused.

Until next time,

Tanya

 

Who am I?  I am Tanya, an almost 40-year-old psychic medium, professional tarot reader, reiki master and author.  I run a Holistic Practice at my home town in Essex and I love to teach the Positive Law Of Attraction and to write about my really awesome experiences during my crazy yet amazing spiritual journey!  Find me at:

http://www.oraholisticwellbeing.com (FB: @OraHolisticWellbeing)

http://www.tanyastarot.com (FB: @Tanya’sTarot)

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Does A Person Grow Up In Spirit?

I have always wondered what happens to an unborn child, baby or child when they cross over from this life into the next.  Or anyone really who passes on, do they stop growing at that point?  I do have a theory of what happens, based on my own understanding from my spirit guide Blue and from what I have experienced during my mediumship.

I believe that ever spirit is joined to their own higher self, their own energy powerhouse which is connected to the source (source of all that is, all that was and all that will be) and this is called the Soul.  Off the Soul are many strings of consciousness, many spirits living separate but simultaneous lives, on Earth as well as in other Universes.

You are living in this consciousness right now, your spirit is who you are at this moment in time but you are always connected to your Soul.  When you die, your consciousness will leave this vibration and enter into the Astral Realm, a consciousness that vibrates a lot faster than on Earth, you go back to the Astral which is a continuation of your spirit which will always be connected to your Soul and the Source.

When our spirit takes its human form here on Earth, we age in our physical body.  We also age as an individual, a person, a spirit.  That is our learning experience which our Soul wants us to have.  As we know, human beings die at any age during their human lifetime.  On Earth, as we age, we are restricted to a time sequence.  We have human measurements which are influenced by natural law to make our sequences, years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds.  There is always a past, present, and future.  This makes sense in our physical body, it must do, the psychical body isn’t vibrating fast enough to be able to not have this time sequence to follow.

But when the physical body dies and the spirit is released, it has its energetic, ethereal body which particles are spinning at a much faster rate.  There is no time in a sequence.  What there is are a series of moments, of intensities of experiences, which can seem like they are going backward and forwards but are in fact always in the moment.  So, a spirit can be any age and can certainly “grow up” once it is back on home ground.

I want to share with you a recent experience that helps to affirm my belief in this:

I was practicing Reiki Healing on a new client and I had my hands over her eyes and was enjoying the beautiful healing energy.  As I looked down at her face, I suddenly became aware that she looked remarkably like my older sister.  It was uncanny like my mind was playing a trick on me as I felt like it was my sister laying there in front of me.  As I was thinking this, I suddenly felt the sister love you get for a sibling.  I knew then that a spirit was present and trying to make an impression on my feelings, I knew that this lady had lost a sibling.

Just as I thought that there was a man standing close by, smiling at both me and his sister.  He told me he was 34 years old. Then just like that, he vanished.

After the treatment, as my client was drinking her water, I decided to broach the subject. She was a new client and I wasn’t sure how she would receive this type of information!

I asked her if she lost a sibling, a brother around mid-thirties?  She said no she hadn’t, could it be someone else?  I shook my head as I was convinced this was a sibling connection. As I thought about it, suddenly her face changed, and her eyes filled up with water.

“My mum lost a baby, a boy, between me and my oldest sister being born,” she said, as the realisation hit her.

“How old would he have been now?” I asked, astonished.

“About 34,” she said.

So there you have it, that was my evidence that spirit does, in fact, grow up on the other side. I think that’s pretty wonderful!

Until next time,

Tanya

Who am I?  I am Tanya, an almost 40-year-old psychic medium, professional tarot reader, reiki master and author.  I run a Holistic Practice at my home town in Essex and I love to teach the Positive Law Of Attraction and to write about my really awesome experiences during my crazy yet amazing spiritual journey!  Find me at:

http://www.oraholisticwellbeing.com (FB: @OraHolisticWellbeing)

http://www.tanyastarot.com (FB: @Tanya’sTarot)

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A Missed Message

A Missed Message

Spirit know what is coming up along our human timeline, how they do this is still a mystery to me but I can only feel that it is something to do with the fact that time here on the Earth plane, on the human consciousness level follows a linear pattern and is cyclic, so we measure it with scientific laws that do make sense, one Earth revolution around the sun for a year as our green and blue globe spins every twenty-four hours on its axis.

In the Astral, time is made up of moments, think of the energy that way, energy is everywhere, everything, it’s fluid, you can’t destroy it, so think of the time that way, backward, forwards, everywhere.

I have been given predictions in the past from spirit, the date of my grandads passing, who had a welcome party waiting for him, I was given a heads up.  The thing with the predictions is that sometimes they are forewarnings and my frustration is that I never really get the entire picture, I feel this is because a connection can be hard to establish, it happens best for me whilst I dream.

On Sunday of last week, I had a dream about my grandad, Frank.  He was standing in my mums living room and he handed me a brown paper package.  It was quite bulky and I had to hold it in with two hands.

“You have to take that to Becton, you have to give it to the boy!” he said, very clearly.

I looked at the package and thought about Becton, without knowing where this place was, I had an inkling it was quite a drive away.

“Well, it’s a bit out of my way grandad?” I said, politely.

“Please, you must get this message to the boy!!  Take it to Becton, take the package to Becton!” he had an urgency in his voice which made me take note.  I looked down at the package in my hands, turned it over and then decided to look inside………..then of course, I woke up in the psychical.

On Monday morning, I thought about that dream.  What was the message from grandad and where is, Becton?  I grabbed my phone and searched on Google maps.  Couldn’t find it.  Was I spelling it right?

I drove over to my mum’s house as I was popping in to see her that morning.  I told her about the dream.

“It’s either Bacton, Beckton, Buckham…….do you know this place?” I asked.

“Yes!! Bacton, its where your uncle Frank lives!” said, mum.

Wow.  Apparently, this is a little village just off the Norfolk coast.  It’s where my uncle lives, my grandad’s son.  I have never been there, didn’t even know that’s where he lived.

“Well he wanted to get a package or message to the boy, pretty urgently,” I said, thinking the “boy” could be uncle Frank or could be one of his sons, Simon or Jason.

We couldn’t fathom it and decided to leave it there, as one of my weird dreams.  I did tell my friend Emma and my husband as I wanted to put some weight on it, like it was significant somehow and perhaps would come apparent in time.

Turns out, that dream was significant.

Three days after I had the dream, I spoke to my mum who informed me that my cousin Jason (my uncle’s oldest son) had a very near miss and was almost killed on Wednesday. He has been working in the USA with his brother on a work project and he was in a cherry picker.  Interestingly the accident was caught on some kind of CCTV footage.  When my mum showed me the video, I couldn’t believe it.  He was in the bucket; it was moving along a field very slowly.  He looked perfectly safe until suddenly, it appeared to sink into the wet field and suddenly the entire cherry picker jolted, and he was literally, violently thrown from it across the field.  Through pure luck, I reckon his injuries were only superficial, like bruising and soreness.

The hairs went up on the back of my neck when I saw it.  My memory returned to my dream about grandad on the Sunday before the accident.  My grandad wanted to give me an urgent package, he was making reference to the “the boy” (which he would often call on of the boys when he was alive, in his East London accent), he made reference to the exact location that my uncle lived, therefore indicating to me exactly which boy or area of the family needed this package (otherwise I would have wondered if he meant another boy in the family not directly connected to my uncle).  But I never got to open that package.

What was in the package?  It was big and bulky……….a harness perhaps?  If I had opened it and seen the harness I would have said “Mum I had a message for Uncle Frank, he is telling me I must give this harness to the boy, it’s urgent”…………………what do you think?

Until next time,

Tanya

P.s: if you love my blogs I would love you to follow me each week on my spiritual journey through the weird and wonderful things that spirit delight me with pretty much every day!  Press subscribe or follow me on Facebook (@oraholisticwellbeing or @tanya’starot) or do check out my YouTube channel: Ora Holistic Wellbeing – Tanya Short.  Thanks!

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Lucidity

I haven’t had a lucid dream in ages, until last Friday night.  It’s bonkers how I go from just dreaming about a load of old rubbish to suddenly “waking” whilst in my dream, understanding very clearly that I am in a different state of consciousness and then deciding that I’m on a mission to take as much evidence as possible whilst being in this unusual state of mind.

It’s quite apparent to me that when we dream, we also visit the Astral realm.  This is a place that is another reality, another level of consciousness that we access when we sleep, meditate (sometimes) and when we die.  I’ve read extensively about people who are able to Astral travel (leave their body whilst sleeping, an out of body experience that literally means they wake up somewhere else).  They go to the Astral, which isn’t that dissimilar to Earth, except that it’s much more beautiful and we are able to do a few more “futuristic” things that we can’t do here on the physical (like fly or read people’s minds, psychics, however, can already prove this ability here on Earth).

So, with all this in mind, when I wake up in my dream, I suddenly turn into Investigator Tanya, making sure I use the time wisely to conduct a few experiments, have a few conversations and also meet up with my deceased loved ones!

On Friday night, whilst sleeping, I was quite happily dreaming when all of a sudden the view changed in the dream, I look down at my hands and I can see every intricate skin line and detail, I rub my hand on my jeans and feel the fabric and friction against my skin…that’s it, I’m awake in my dream and I must hold this energy for as long as possible to conduct my experiments!  So here are my findings:

Talking to a local:

I find myself on the street that I live on now (lots of consistent research suggests that the Astral is like a carbon copy of Earth, so when you pass on you won’t be surprised to find you can visit very familiar places).  So, I’m on the street, but not in my house, I’m in a big house that is on the row just behind mine, I’ve been in this house before as a client lives there.  For some reason I’m leaving the house then see a stranger walking past so I shout out to her and she stops and looks directly at me.

“Am I in the Astral?” I ask.

“Yes, you are” she replies.

“Do you know you used to live on Earth?  Do you understand that you died?” I ask.

“Yes, I do know that” she replies.

Satisfied with her answer, I walk on towards my own house.

The Elements

I’ve always wondered about what the weather is like in the Astral.  I’m currently writing a fictional novel about the Astral and when it comes to describing the weather, I kind of left it that its always at an ambient temperature/no real extremes either side.  The Astral is a mental plane, although there is physicality there.  It sounds hard for us to wrap our brains around this, but the basic consensus with people that have had Near Death Experiences or who have astral traveled via them have confirmed this.  So, the weather and elements have always been something I have wondered about. I often ask myself questions like, what’s the point of rain if it isn’t needed to sustain life?

In my “dream”, I remember clearly that it was very windy outside, in fact, the wind was thrashing against my face and it was taking my breath away.  Interestingly, on Friday night, the actual night that I had this dream, there were gale force winds outside and I am now wondering if I was actually astral projecting myself, even though I felt like I was lucid dreaming.  I can’t put into words how “real” the wind on my face felt.  This was no dream, nowhere near the same.

I remember thinking that I can feel the wind on my face, then it just stopped and I felt the sunbeams on my face and it felt wonderful.  “So there is a sun in the Astral” I remember thinking, another answer to another question I have often thought about whilst writing my novel.

Mental Creation

Two experiments down, I decided to conduct another, I ask two volunteers (these are literally strangers just walking past) to sit on a bed with me (it appears that I can just conjure up a bed out of nowhere) and I ask these two women to come and sit on the bed with me, we are going to fly through the air on it. One of the women seems enthusiastic about this, the other does not, however, she decides to join us both on the bed.  Before we know it, the bed has taken off and we are now flying around my street, however, only two of us are experiencing this.  The other woman makes it clear that even though she is sitting on the bed, she is not flying with us because she didn’t want too.  It appears that different realities can be experienced all at the same time, even when people are together.

Spirits

After the bed ride, I understood that to hold my energy in this lucid state is hard work and I will soon fade back into a normal dream state so I decided that whilst I am here I must catch up with my nan, who died in 2002.  So far I’ve met up with my father-in-law, Uncle, and Grandad but haven’t seen nan in ages.  This is an ideal opportunity!  I look up toward my current Earth house and it seems the same except there are roses all over the wall, this is a good indication that she is there (her name is Rose).

I go into my house, upstairs into my bedroom, seeing roses everywhere.  I call out to her and then feel her presence, suddenly she walks straight into the room!  My visual of her is as clear as a button (remember I haven’t seen her in 17 years).  She is wearing an England Rugby shirt (I thought this was a very strange outfit choice, I didn’t know why) and her hair is straight and grey (my mum used to perm her hair, but obviously she has let it go straight now) and she is the same age as when she died, she has put on a little bit of weight, not much, just healthy.

We go to speak to each other and then I am pulled back away from her.  I am really disappointed but this feeling doesn’t last long because I realise that my spirit guide Blue is next to me, I can feel him and then see an Asian man in blue robes praying and all of a sudden I am overcome with extreme emotion at seeing Blue (even more so then nan!) that suddenly I wake up in bed, actually crying!  Not sad tears, happy tears? (god only knows what my husband must think I’m doing in bed each night!).

I just lay there and think about nan and the Rugby shirt and decide to google the logo (I am not a Rugby fan at all & I’m ashamed to say that I have never really thought about nor noticed the English Rugby emblem!) and realise that the logo is the English Rose.  Of course, she is wearing her name for me!

Some people may think this is just a very elaborate dream, however I know the difference between a normal dream and a lucid one.  The possibilities are endless, the hard part is knowing when and if a dream will turn lucid but when it does I will always use that opportunity to see what life is like in the Astral and most importantly, catch up with those that have moved on from Earth.

If you have enjoyed this blog please subscribe as I post weekly, I also have a YouTube Channel: Ora Holistic Wellbeing – Tanya Short, please do subscribe!  Thank you.

Until next time,

Tanya

Who am I?  I am Tanya, an almost 40 year old psychic medium, professional tarot reader, reiki master and author.  I run a Holistic Practice at my home town in Essex and I love to teach the Positive Law Of Attraction and to write about my really awesome experiences during my crazy yet amazing spiritual journey!  Find me at:

http://www.oraholisticwellbeing.com (FB: @OraHolisticWellbeing)

http://www.tanyastarot.com (FB: @Tanya’sTarot)

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Platform Mediums!

The 2nd June 2019 was a day myself and my good friend and fellow medium Jess had been working towards for an entire year. We were going out on platform to give a demonstration of mediumship as “fledglings”.

For those who are unfamiliar with what a dem is, let me set the scene: a Devine Service is held on a Sunday and is held at a Spiritualist Church (normally a scout hut type of set up!). The Devine Service has been going back years & years, hence the fact it is still connected to a Church format. I’ve always found it interesting, as Spirituality (in my opinion) is not a religion yet at this service there are hymns, the Lord’s Prayer & to be honest, it feels very Christian during the first 45 minutes. I guess this is tradition, it’s always been done this way since this type of service originated from Christianity. However, most mediums I know do not carry a particular faith, myself included.

Local people come along, pay a couple of pounds at the door that goes to the Church and then sit in the congregation. The Chair Person introduces the mediums, the first prayer, the hymn. Then an address from the medium is given (this is an inspirational talk on any subject, it’s not always prepared and is supposed to come from spirit to give guidance, positivity & hope to the people listening) another hymn and then straight into the mediumship where evidence is given from the people’s past loved ones in spirit, with a message for those lucky ones.

At last nights demonstration I did four private one to one tarot readings before the service began, as they wanted to raise a bit of money for the church and this was a great distraction for me, tarot readings are my happy place at the moment and it stopped me thinking about the fact I was about to stand up in front of fifteen strangers with no back up script.

After my readings, Jess and I got ready to sit at the stage with fellow professional medium Jayne Finch. Jayne was as calm as a cucumber and a pillar of strength for us, we were so nervous.

The hymn part did not help as there was a mix up on the CD and we ended up singing “What The World Needs Now” by Dionne Warwick (not a traditional hymn, which I kind of liked) but there are a few vocal acrobatics going on in that song and like an idiot I shot Jess a side glance, big mistake! She was trying herself not to laugh and of course our connection only intensified this situation so there I spent the remainder of that song, literally crying, my eyes almost popping out of my head, thinking of actual death to try and stop the fits of laughter. I couldn’t. My mum was in the congregation and confirmed after that yes, she could see me laughing. Jeeze how unprofessional. I have no idea how to stop that (I’ve been laughing in awkward situations since I was a child).

Anyhow, song over, it’s time for the host medium to take the stage. Before we knew it, it was Jess’s turn. I could feel her nerves….or was it mine? She stood up there, bold as brass and connected with a large lad who loved to box. Straight away she got a hand up and proceeded to give fantastic evidence for this lady and on her second link was just as strong. I was so happy for Jess!

Then it was my turn. I stand up and decide to go with the link of a young lady I had since Jess gave me a “trigger” word before the dem started. I love having a trigger word, it’s given to me and as soon as I get the word it reminds me of someone or something that then links me to the spirit. In this case, I saw a young girl who got sick aged around 12 and died in her early twenties and she gave me the name Dave. She wanted to get a message to her living brother, to pass on to her dad.

I gave the evidence and like a moron forgot to give the name Dave. Anyway, this link was actually for Jess and she took the info but there was still a bit of mystery around if the message was for the brother or dad (whilst living she hadn’t spoken to her dad in years).

Anyway, my other links went well, I was happy with my evidence (getting pets like a tortoise which isn’t the norm is always good evidence in my book) and Jess also did amazingly well.

I needed to get another link and this is what I always struggle with. So I asked my Guide Blue to show me something in the room to get my link from. My eyes are drawn to a painting of a Scout Leader on the wall. I suddenly felt what this mans personality was like. With that I stand and I describe this man, his relationships, his work life and I am drawn to the lady in the front. The reading is for her and I felt it flowed, the message more poignant as his love for her was so strong I could feel it in my bones.

Jess and I did our last link as a double link, where we both connected to the same spirit and provided the evidence. We bounced off each other and by this point the nerves had gone and we felt confident and at ease.

Before we knew it, we had ended our night of mediumship and were being signed for another night in the diary, we couldn’t believe it we were so happy!

In the car on the way home, we chatted enthusiastically about the night and how well it went for both of us. I mentioned to Jess about the first Spirit, the girl she used to know. Was it really for her brother, we questioned, then I remembered his name. “Oh is he called Dave?” I asked. Jess spins her head around “yes Tanya, his name is Dave!”.

Emma, our good friend and teacher and who was driving us just burst out laughing “Tanya, next time, just say what you see!”,

Until next time,

Tanya

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Who am I?  I am Tanya, an almost 40 year old psychic medium, professional tarot reader, reiki master and author.  I run a Holistic Practice at my home town in Essex and I love to teach the Positive Law Of Attraction and to write about my really awesome experiences during my crazy yet amazing spiritual journey!  Find me at:

http://www.oraholisticwellbeing.com (FB: @OraHolisticWellbeing)

http://www.tanyastarot.com (FB: @Tanya’sTarot)

The Problem With Predictions

Knowing the difference between a symbolic dream and future prediction is the hardest part of having psychic ability, especially when it affects me personally. A brain is an incredible tool that has the ability to take all our worries, fears, hopes and dreams plus all the things we have said, heard, seen and smelt over the last few days and stirs them up into a big subconscious soup that gets filtered through our brain each night.  Sometimes we remember dreams, sometimes we don’t.  But how do I know if I’m getting a prediction?  This has caused me quite a lot of stress and anxiety over the years.

I always say, go with the feeling, if it feels deep, if I have this inner knowing that it’s a prediction then it probably is.  But would spirit be so cruel and tell me how a loved one will die one day? I mean, it’s happened before, I was given the exact date of my granddads passing in 2005, so it can happen again, right? I’m hoping by writing this blog, I manage to reassure myself (and others who have these types of dreams) that I don’t think spirit would be that unkind.  So here is what happened:

About a year ago, I awoke in the middle of the night after having what I consider a nightmare.  In this dream, I just remember my phone ringing, when I picked it up, it was a strangers voice, an Asian man that I did not recognise.  He is introducing himself and as he does, my dream starts to turn lucid, so it’s like I am aware of the situation and my own reality, even though I am in a dream state.

“Your husband was driving in London, he had a car accident, I’m sorry to say Mrs Short we couldn’t save him……..”

I wake up at that point.  The most awful thing about this dream experience is that I felt every single feeling of shock and horror, just like I would feel as if it actually happened to me. It was off the scale horrendous and I was sobbing for a long time after and could not get back to sleep.

The next morning, I made a point of telling Craig about this dream, like if I told him, it won’t come true.  He reassured me that he won’t die in a car crash (I guess he can predict the future now right?).

I finally got my head around that this was just a dream until something else happened that literally pushed my anxiety up another level.   I was going to Romford, to a new client that I had never met before.  She was a German lady in her seventies who wanted Reiki after a stressful couple of years. The strange thing is she heard about me whilst chatting to a buyer at her boot sale some months before which I thought was random, to say the least.  Anyhow, on the day of her treatment, I ask the Angels to protect my car journey (normal practice) and off I went to her house.

Her house was on the worst road ever, it was a Feng Shui nightmare!  It was literally the main road that buses and everything can go on, in fact, I had to be so quick to pull up which added so much pressure on me as finding new locations is not exactly my strongest attribute.

Once in her house it was like a little sanctuary and had an alpine feel to it, it was quirky and just like her, I warmed to her and her house quickly. She took me into the kitchen and offered a cup of tea which I decided I should have after the journey and I asked about all the cats she had.  She was really excited to tell me that she rescues cats and wanted me to see her little cat house.

This part of the story gets weird because before I knew it, I was in this ladies back garden, sitting in what can only be described as a cat Wendy House complete with pictures on the wall and an actual cat Chaise Lounges!  Acknowledging internally that sometimes I have strange experiences with this job, I decided it was time to crack on with her treatment.

This is the sad part, I established during and after her treatment that her husband, aged seventy-three years old, was killed, run over outside her house by a white van about two years ago.  I couldn’t believe such an awful thing happened outside her own front door, that every time she looks outside on that road she must have a memory of what happened, as she was there and saw it all, it must have been horrific.

Bearing all of that in mind, she was over the worst of her grief journey. She told me that it’s her spirituality that has kept her going and got her through it all, then she told me about the dream.  She told me that about two years before her husband was killed outside his own front door, she had a dream that he was dead.  She woke up crying, as did I when I had my dream.  She took it as a warning to get all her paperwork together, a Will sorted, life insurance etc.  But she didn’t heed the warning and when he died she was left with an awful financial mess to sort out.

“So young lady, you must always have your paperwork in order, you never know what is around the corner,” she said to me, in her thick German accent.

As I drove home that day, I felt sick.  Was that another warning sign?  Would spirit be that unkind to give me a heads up, and to be honest, even if it is, how can I help a situation that may already have been written into someone’s life contract?

Of course, my husband, who doesn’t believe in predictions or spirits or the afterlife, thinks that I’m bonkers and needs to get a grip of myself, he isn’t concerned about this at all.  But I will be honest, I took out a Will since I met that lady…………..

I don’t’ think my husband will die in a car crash.  On reflection, I do feel they wanted to get a message across to me about him, which I am not going to go into in this blog post, but I do feel that they wanted my attention about something which I have since acknowledged.

So you see, having the gift of foresight is a blessing and a curse.  Whether or not I get it to help warn people or to just prove that things have already been written into our future, I don’t think I will ever know.  But what I do know is that for me personally, there is a fine line between my realities and I do sometimes think I may spend a lifetime trying to work it all out.

Until next time,

Tanya

 

If you like these blog posts, please have a look at my YouTube channel: Ora Reiki and Holistic Wellbeing where I talk about these experiences and other spiritual topics!

Battle Ships

On 3rd April 2019, I had laparoscopic keyhole surgery to remove endometriosis adhesions & scar tissue from my internal organs, polyps from my uterus and cysts from my ovaries.

I was last on the list to go down for surgery that morning and I waited five hours.  That was okay though because compared to others, my surgery isn’t life-threatening, I could have much worse conditions.  At the exact time, I was in the hospital waiting for my own surgery, my sisters mother in law was in a London hospital having her liver taken out of body and a possible tumor being removed, an operation that would take over six hours.  On the other side of the world, one of my best friends was in a Cambodian hospital attached to a drip after contracting Dengue Fever (from the Yellow Fever family) and her platelets were dropping so low she might need a blood transfusion…so my case really was pretty low down the pile of surgeries and illness for that week.

The waiting was the hardest part though and I asked my spirit team to give me some superpower strength on the walk down to theatre, which they did.

The anesthetist was a lovely, funny man who looked like he had comedy teeth in but they suited him and made him endearing.  He joked that he had trouble getting the cannula into every patient he had that morning.  When he had trouble with my right wrist, I realised he was being serious.  It hurt like hell and continued too, he kept going back to it and decided he didn’t trust it to work properly (interesting choice of words before a general anesthetic is administered but I still trusted him completely!).

“I’m going to do it in the other wrist” were the words I heard but chose to block out.  Cannula administration has followed a similar pattern all my life…it doesn’t go very well.  He bent my wrist forward after tapping very hard on the vein and getting the nurse to squeeze my forearm.

“I don’t think we are having much luck today” he mumbles…then puts the needle in and the pain I have and his sorry eyes tell me we have to try again.

I lie back, close my eyes and call on my angels.  I take some very deep breaths and repeat in my head “please let this work, please let this work” and a quick scratch later he is all smiles “you did that!  That wasn’t me…what did you do?  Well done! Now in 30 seconds, you will be asleep”….30, 29, 28, 27………

When I come round in the recovery ward I am aware of three things.  A pain in my stomach, a kind voice asking me how bad the pain is, and a spirit touching my face.

“Scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst?”

“Seven…eight”

Click, he releases pain killer directly into my iv line and it feels like liquid gold…and I feel my Nan by my side.

After I am wheeled into my room and after the nurse has taken my blood pressure and left me, I’m aware of my uncle standing in the corner of my room.  I fall asleep and I’m woken by the feeling of spirit around my tummy…my grandad has come in this time too.  Every now and then I see a flash of blue light…..that will be Blue my guide.  Blimey, they are all making an appearance today.

My husband and my little girl come in to see me.  I’m still hazy and out of it, they tell me they are going down to the restaurant for dinner whilst I sleep some more.

As I drift into a delicious semi-conscious post anesthetic sleep, I suddenly find myself floating in the hospital restaurant.  I appear to be having some weird out of body experience which feels very lucid in this dream state.

I can see my husband and little girl at their table and I can see my little girl has his mobile phone in her hands, she is laughing as she plays “Battle Ships” on an App on his phone.  She hasn’t played Battle Ships in well over 6 months, we haven’t spoken about it in a long time, it’s not something she would just pick up and play.

When they both return to my bed after dinner, my little girl runs up to me.

“We had dinner mummy!” she says enthusiastically.

“I know what you were doing, I could see you,” I told her as I came round.

“Did you see me playing Battle Ships?” she asked, with a surprised look on her little face.

“I sure did,” I said, as my husband rolled his eyes behind her……………

Until next time,

Tanya

 

Strength

Last week I wrote about my current health issue and how worried I was (initially) that I had a far more serious condition.  The consultant really did put my mind at ease.  She told me all about my issue and talked about my forthcoming operation, but she certainly did not indicate that I have anything to worry about.

During my “worry period” between the scan and the consultant appointment, I asked my nan and grandad for a sign that everything would be ok.  For those of you that follow my regular weekly blog posts, you will already know that my nan (especially) is pretty good at giving me a sign from spirit, no kidding, the lady has it licked, she gives signs like a boss, she makes it effortless!

On the very morning of the day I asked for a sign from her, I got one.  It was Sunday and I was doing my normal weekly chore, unloading my Sainsburys food shop.  I always opt for home delivery because it saves me time and I do love the banter with my local driver!

As I did this normal routine, my heart was heavy.  I was still really worried about my health and I had been crying a lot the night before.  As I opened the very last bag, my heart skipped a beat.  There was a big bunch of Spring daffodils inside.  I hadn’t ordered these during my online shop.   I have never ordered flowers in a food shop. I checked the receipt, they were on there, they cost £1 a bunch.  I looked at the bottom of the receipt and remembered that I had a voucher, £1 off my shopping for that week, which I had applied at the checkout point.  That voucher covered the cost of the flowers…..the flowers from nan, telling me that she is thinking of me.

Now we can’t forget grandad in this.  On the Thursday evening of the same week, it was time for my circle development class at the Arthur Findlay college.  I am still at that new stage there, where everyone is total strangers, which is brilliant, especially when I get a reading.

A lady called Marie sat in front of me and connected to a male in spirit. She described him to me and I knew she had my grandad.  In her hand she had an oracle card, one that she had been given by the tutor, to help link the spirit to me.  The card said, “Trust in the Unknown”.

“He is telling you to do that. Don’t worry about the unknown, TRUST in the unknown.  He is giving me the name David(his son) and talking about him cutting bread(he had a very unique way of cutting a fresh new loaf, which makes me smile whenever I think about it), he also says you have radiant blue energy all around you(my guide is called Blue) and he is talking about you when you go to bed.  You lift off the two pillows on top of your bed and you have two special pillows you use(this is my exact routine every night –  my special pillows because I get reflux!).  He said he wants to be with you, especially in the work you do, he said he will be around you”. 

 

As you can imagine, I was thrilled with that reading.  But here is the part that makes me smile.  When I used to rent a treatment room that was connected to a hairdressing salon, I used to have a very whispy spider who sat in the corner of the room.  He was there for about 9 months!  (I thought spiders are supposed to have a ten-day lifespan?).   Everyone who knows me knows that I have a very bad fear of spiders. But I used to let this spider stay. I let him stay because I felt he was my granddads spirit (my grandad has given me a spider surprise on almost every special occasion since he died).  So when I left that room for good, I actually said farewell to my little friend, Mr spider aka grandad Frank.

After the reading with Marie, on the Saturday, I had a client in my treatment room (which is now at home) and as I placed my hands over her eyes, I was drawn to look in the corner of my room.  There was my whispy little friend, the same type of spider (which I haven’t seen since I was in my old treatment room 18 months ago).  I knew instantly it was grandad, just as Marie had said, being with me during my work.  I smiled at him and said he could stay, as long as he doesn’t come near my treatment couch.

I also got another strong sign from spirit that week, this time it was from Blue.

It was during that same night that I had my reading with Marie.

Some of us were chosen to stand up (in front of twenty others!) and do some inspirational speaking.  Each person had to get up and choose a stone from a small basket which had a word on it and then talk about what that word meant to them, words like gratitude or love.

When it was my turn, I picked up my stone with sweaty hands (I was so nervous!). I turned over the stone to see what my word was:

“Strength”………………..

What was I going to say?  What does strength mean to me, mean to anyone?  Then I remembered the card that Marie had for me “Trust in the Unknown”. So this is what I started with, I can’t remember exactly what I said to everyone, I believe it went a little like this:

“What is strength?  Strength is trust, its trust in the unknown.  We all need our own inner strength, to know we can depend on us, above all else, during our life’s journey. From the day we are born to the day we die, we will have our ups and downs, our hard days and our good days and the days in between, we will need inner strength to get us through….but we must know that we are supported, that someone or something has our back…ALWAYS, we are supported in this life by an unseen force, we must Trust In The Unknown”.

Until next time,

TanyaS

Health Anxiety

Anxiety is a pretty awful thing to go through.  Some people throw the word around quite casually, they are a bit anxious about something and think they have anxiety.  I don’t want to take away the seriousness of their worries but actually having anxiety as a mental health condition is a different thing entirely. It can be deliberating, can wreak havoc with the individuals and their families lives and can take years to mentally overcome.

There are many different types of anxiety and as I am not a trained psychologist I’m going to do what I do best and that is talk about my own anxiety and what that feels like and suggestions I can put forward that may help you if you are in the same boat.

Firstly, why do we get anxiety?  I believe that we have a predisposition for it in our genes, or a bit of a personality trait that means that we have to be in control, all the time. The control thing is massive when it comes to anxiety because anxiety is another word for worry.

I also feel that we would have learned some behaviour from a parent that may or may not have realised that they are worry heads.  They may have wrapped us up in cotton wall because of their own self restricting fears.  Growing up there may have been one or both parents that are negative in nature and would tend to “catastrophise” things with no logical rationale behind it.

Anxiety can lay dormant for years and come out after a traumatic or life-changing event.  It can also manifest into different mental health conditions like depression and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – which I will blog about another time). For today’s’ post I want to focus on my own personal favourite topic of anxiety: health anxiety.  Honestly, I don’t think it was a thing until Google was invented (jokes).  I also don’t think it’s the same as Munchausen Syndrome (a factitious disorder in which a person deliberately acts as he or she is physically or mentally unwell when he or she is not really sick).  I do think however that it bubbles on the surface of hypochondria if anything.

Health anxiety is when you worry constantly at not only your own state of health but of those around you that you care deeply about.  Slight pain in the forehead?  That will be the onset of a stroke.  A left flank twinge?  Cervical cancer for sure.  The numbness in your right foot will be the stomach tumour that is pressing on your spinal column, absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you have worn slider sandals for the past three months due to the unprecedented heatwave……..ok I’m making this funny but if you have this disorder, it’s pretty damn awful.  You will utterly convince yourself that you are dying, all the time.

You will have a compulsion to symptom check every little ailment you “feel”. You will seek out statistics of cancer rates and risk factors and because your anxiety is a sneaky little bugger, it will deliberately on purpose home in on all the things you are experiencing. The compulsion is to actually find evidence that you do in fact have a life-threatening illness.  This is all irrational and completely fear driven.  Of course, it is.  But try telling that to your anxiety.

Stories in the newspaper, of particularly young people dying of cancer (cancer is a massive theme for the person with this type of anxiety), will be what you are drawn too.  “If it happened to them, then it could very well happen to me……..there is so much cancer these days, why is that…………its like cancer is out to get me, my family and friends………”

So, as you may have worked out from the above, I have experienced this type of anxiety first hand.  However, I haven’t got it as bad as some.  When I feel good, I feel on top of the world, with no worries what so ever.  But as soon as I get an odd symptom…it starts to creep in.

I have had a recent “health scare”.  After months (years!) of awful heavy and painful periods, I decided to go and get an internal scan done.

At the scan, the lovely female sonographer probably didn’t mean to scare the crap out of me, but she did.  To be honest, when you are the health worrier, you will look for every little sign to see if a health professional is lying to you and in fact covering up the fact they have just discovered you actually do have a terminal illness.

“Oh!  Endometriosis, can see it straight away” she said as she peered at the scan screen that was pointing toward her and not me (what’s she trying to hide?).  Oh my days….I’ve just been diagnosed with Endometriosis!!  From a scan…….ok, not life-threatening, will also explain why I have felt like I want to die each and every month……..wait is there more?

“Oh!!  I see two growths”…….wait “growth??” OK – real legitimate worry time about to commence……….

“These are called Polyps.  They are quite common (thank the lord) and are tissue growths in the uterine wall (stop saying growths!) and you need them out as one is growing, it’s very large (large growth, growing – wtf???) you need an operation”.

Jeeze.  Let’s fast forward to now – the day I write this blog.  It’s about ten days since my scan.  My consultant appointment with the Gynea is this evening and the fact that (thank the lord twice) I have private medical insurance, I reckon this operation will be done and dusted by May (here’s praying).  This is the good news, they have identified my problem.  The bad news is my anxiety has skyrocketed.

Remember, that I am a Holistic Therapist who helps others deal with stress, depression, anxiety…..I promote the law of attraction and the positive mental attitude required to hit difficult times in life, head on.

But when you start looking internally at your own life, at those that love and depend on you and the fact that you may have a very real, potentially very serious health condition, it changes everything in an instant for you. All those years I’ve spent worrying about having cancer and the awful truth is, I don’t know if I have it or not. Am I over-reacting?  Some women with uterine polyps have them removed and biopsied to find out that they have cancer.  This is rare. But it does happen.

The difference between me and someone without health anxiety is this:

The person without this anxiety will be rational.  They will take what the sonographer said as the truth and not think that actually, she lied to them and really she saw cancer but didn’t want to worry them.

They will not think that every phone call from the scan until the consultant appointment is the gynaecologist herself, calling to get them in “URGENTLY” as it appears they have cancer and need a lifesaving operation within hours.

They will not start thinking about the future with them not in it and how that will affect the lives of those they hold dearest……a thought that is too painful to put into words.

Of course they will be concerned, that goes without saying.  But they will be rational and objective, not irrational and subjective.  They would also say, well even in the very unlikely event that I have cancer, it doesn’t mean I am dead, it just means I need a different course of treatment….and a different perspective.

See, how did we get from uterine polyps to cancer in one blog post?  No one has even mentioned this word to me……but I Dr Googled my symptoms……it turns out that endometriosis and polyps have the same symptoms as womb cancer.

In my heart of heart, do I think I have it?  No.  But I do think this is a big old lesson for me, in terms of putting my health anxiety to bed, for good!  Yes, it is. Here is why.  For the first seven days of the ten day wait period between scan and consultant, I kept crying and totally freaking out.  This is the most I’ve worried in a very long time.  But then, during a Reiki treatment, I heard a voice in my head. I felt like it was Blue, my guide. This is what he said:

“You are absolutely fine.  You don’t have cancer, you know that.  You will KNOW when your time has reached its end on this life journey.  But, just because you have these abilities, the deep sense of intuition that not every person has, that doesn’t mean that you get off Scott free…..you will have many ups and downs that you need to learn and grow from….this is one of those down times but we are going to manage it and move past it”.

Since this moment I have felt so much better, even today, a few hours before my appointment.  It’s like someone is standing behind me, they have got my back and I feel it too.

I’m hoping this whole experience will put to bed my worries, as there is no point.  What is important is now, today, right this second, anything before that is just our imagination.

But what if health anxiety affects you?  Well, like with any type of anxiety, I want you to know that I feel your pain – I really really do.  There are ways to manage it though:

  • Write stuff down, all about what you are worried about. In fact write two columns, one with your irrational fears and the other one with the more logical rational thinking.   Anxiety and stress cause symptoms, headaches and stomach ache. So that is what the problem is more likely to be!
  • Keep busy, focussed and fulfilled. This will help you immensely.
  • Relax and manage your thoughts with techniques such as exercise, mindful meditation and doing something creative.
  • Talk to people to unload your worries but try not to seek constant reassurance, be your own therapist.
  • If you are undergoing tests for a legitimate health issue, DO NOT search on Google, especially on forums. You are not the same as the people on the forums.  Your body and condition are unique to you.
  • Speak to your GP or look on the Mind website if you do feel you need external support: https://www.mind.org.uk

Until next time,

Tanya